1969.12.02 Amsterdam NY Recorder Page 4 |
1969.12.02 Amsterdam NY Recorder Page 4 "Keeping Up With Space Age Toys Is Expensive" by Allen Nacheman |
Keeping Up With Space Age Toys Is Expensive
By ALLEN NACHEMAN
PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) Are you one of those cynics who sit in front of the television set with a pencil and paper during the moon shots and figure what it's costing you in taxes?
The Apollo program is running around $25 billion and the population is about 200 million so each of us is kicking in an average of $125, right?
And you'd like yours back in cash.
I used to feel that way, but the coming of Christmas has brought me to my senses. It hasn't made me more patriotic, just more mercenary. I see now that it would cost me less in the long run to let the government run the space program than to conduct it in my living room, which is the alternative.
Strange People
This is the season when strange people come into your home through the television set and explain to your children how they can spend twice your salary. And my 3-year-old is beginning to understand what they're talking about.
He sits in front of the set and watches Major Matt Mason driving his space buggy around Venus and he looks at me wide-eyed and asks, "Hat dat?"
But then the network news cuts in with pictures of the real astronauts walking on the moon and I can say to the kid, "We can't buy Major Matt. See? He's working for the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
This is easier for him to understand than if I tell him, "Listen, kid. Your old man isn't making enough to support four people, a dog and a space program."
Has all this been getting by you? Have you been raiding the refrigerator during every commercial?
Astronaut Jargon
Major Matt, a 6-inch plastic doll, sells for $2.99 and his buddy, astronaut Jeff, is $2.44. Their talking space station, which furnishes authentic astronaut jargon at the pull of a string, goes for $7.99.
A powerful lunar tractor and protectively tinted space bubble to carry Matt and Jeff around your living room cost $8.99 and a mobile satellite launcher with its own 40 x 24 inch moonscape is $11.99. Are you taking this down?
Billy Blastoff, America's first boy in space, outfitted with space car, sled, tractor and crawler, is $5.99.
The deluxe Billy Blastoff set, including Robbie the Robot, radar scope, walkie-talkie and "radio active material," $10.99.
A moon copter with whirling blades, and an eight-wheel space mobile are $4.99 apiece.
Esoteric Extras
Callisto, the astronaut from Jupiter, with transparent skull and esoteric extras, goes for $2.44.
Lost in space robot: $6.88.
Blast off to the moon kit: $7.99
Zintar the silver explorer, Zerak the Blue Destroyer and Zabor the Bronze Transporter: $4.99 each.
Mighty Zogg costs $13.99.
Batteries are extra.
And do you think it will end there? How long do you think your kids are going to be happy with astronauts who aren't even as well-dressed as the Barbie Doll crowd?
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